Quick Fiction Fix

If you're an Aussie or a Kiwi reader, you must pick up a copy of this week's Woman's Day magazine. Inside you'll find a delightful historical short story written by my buddy, Anna Campbell. I nabbed my local convenience store's last mag this morning. Be quick!

Here she is with Harlequin Presents author Annie West (left)
at Guildford Library.

Stack of Macs

I never considered myself much of a collector...until I cleaned out my study today and realised I have a veritable Apple Mac museum.



At the bottom of the stack is my very first computer, the Apple PowerBook 180. It has a grayscale display and the memory of a calculator. (Okay, it was far more powerful, and one of the best computers you could get at the time.) The keyboard is actually one of the most comfortable I've ever used.

When the Internet age dawned, it was time to upgrade to the black PowerBook G3 made famous by Carrie Bradshaw. My then boyfriend (now husband; you can see why I married him) bought it for me. I'll never forget the day he surprised me with it--he'd opened a Word doc and typed the immortal phrase, "Meanwhile, downtown..." I started and finished my first novel on that computer.



Fortunately, I never suffered the motherboard problems Carrie endured. But then the little white iBook G4 laptops came along. They were far more alluring than a pair of Manolos. At this stage, I was struggling with a repetitive strain injury and had to use voice recognition software. The old PowerBook just didn't have enough RAM to run the program. On the iBook I wrote my second, third and fourth books.

And then came the aluminium (aluminum, for those of you in the US) MacBook, pictured at the top. I'm hoping to get a few more novels out of this little beauty.

I'm off to work on book six, but I'll leave you with more pics from the collection.

Oldest to youngest.

Mr Authorness's MacBook Pro (second from the right) joined the line-up for this one.

They just look so pretty from all angles, don't they?

The Seven-Year Itch

This week I left the company I worked for after almost seven years. Aside from being paid to watch The Bold and the Beautiful, I'll miss my wonderful colleagues.

Just because I resigned doesn't mean I won't ever see them again, though. All I have to do is hang out at YouTube. Here are two of my former workmates, Gibson and Belinda, who are also actors. Gib's in the Nintendo ads, or TVCs as they're called in the biz, while Belinda is Tall Jan in the All-Bran cereal ad.


Gibson as Cowboy Jed. The TVCs were directed by Bob Dylan's son, Jesse, and filmed in New Zealand. When Gib returned from shooting the campaign, he treated us all to gigantic boxes of Krispy Kremes to celebrate. You can also see Gibson in the Nicolas Cage film Ghost Rider.


And here's lovely Belinda as Tall Jan. (She really is tall). Belinda recently starred in the Sydney production of My Name is Rachel Corrie.

Somebody Call a Doctor!

Our government recently announced a pledge to crack down on the use of skinny models and unrealistic images in the media. Under the proposed code of conduct, magazines and advertisers must add a disclaimer to images that have been doctored. The initiative aims to address body image issues and unattainable ideals. Even the real Beyonce doesn't have a body like the Beyonce we see in touched-up photographs.

These pics from the hilarious blog Photoshop Disasters, however, don't need a disclaimer. A little tweak here, a little tweak there... Next thing you know, limbs go flying everywhere.

Miley Cyrus: Look, Ma! Three hands!



Ah, là est mon nombril vers le haut là dans les collines.
J'aipensé que je perdu il pour de bon.
(TRANSLATION: Oh, there's my navel up there in the hills.
I thought I'd lost it for good.)


Want Fanta? I think the Fantanas need a hand.


Something a little more sinister. Spot the difference in these two pics featuring Prince William.


Best-selling author Christina Dodd's now infamous cover for her novel CASTLES IN THE AIR. The heroine has three hands. As you can see, the hero is thrilled.

Rewrite Relief

I've just finished the rewrites on my paranormal YA. Yee-ha!

This manuscript has had so many past lives. The first draft--completed way back in 2004--was written in third-person past tense and just scraped over the 45,000 mark. I had a heroine people either loved or hated and, truthfully, a rather insipid plot. The ms did okay in competitions, but received an impressive number of rejections from agents. Four years and much tinkering later, the main and subplots are totally different, it's in first-person present tense, I hope my heroine is more sympathetic and likable, and the word count has almost doubled. Is it perfect? Probably not, but I can tell you it's a hundred times better than that first draft.

Many thanks to my critique crew, plus my agent's assistant, Beth, and an intern at WH, who all gave me invaluable advice.

A whole slew of craft books also helped me through the latest revision. Click on the links to see the Amazon reviews.

• MANUSCRIPT MAKEOVER by Elizabeth Lyon. I really had to raise the stakes in my book, and Lyon's chapters on characterization and structure showed just how to do it.
  
• SELF-EDITING FOR FICTION WRITERS by Renni Browne & Dave King. I liked the authors' solutions to proportion problems--when you spend too much time describing minor points and skimp on the scenes that really need to be big.
  
• GMC: GOAL, MOTIVATION & CONFLICT by Debra Dixon. Work out each main character's goal, motivation and conflict, and you'll give your story dimension and direction. This particularly helped me when I was bogged down in that swamp known as the Saggy Middle.
  
• NOW WRITE! edited by Sherry Ellis. A collection of tried-and-tested exercises to whip lax writing muscles into shape.
  

So, what's next? Both me and the book will rest for a while. Then I'll dive into another YA that I've kept in a holding pattern for nine months, and catch up on all that reading...

Books, Glorious Books

I'm in the final stages of rewriting a YA manuscript. I've been at it since March. One thing I'm soooo looking forward to when I get that over and done with is tackling this tower of books to read. I bought most of them on my recent trip to the US (I had to buy an extra cabin bag, too). There are 17 titles here, not counting Stephenie Meyer's BREAKING DAWN, which I've almost finished. That's my incentive book--I'll revise/rewrite two chapters in my book, then read a chapter of Stephenie's latest as a reward.

The others are stacked in no particular order, but I think it's wise to start with MANAGING TIME from the Harvard Business School Press...

Horsing Around

As you can tell, my blog posts have been infrequent of late and I do apologise for that. But I have been busy with the day job, house renovations, revising a novel, etc. I also blame our city council, which sent every residence a lump of clay in the hope the inhabitants would sculpt a horse out of it.

Why?

Well, our suburb was once a multi-horse town, where working horses delivered milk, bread, household items and, puzzlingly, rabbits. Today the narrow roads are filled with parked cars because few houses have garages. Before, our street housed stables for Clydesdales who worked for stationery company WC Penfold. So to celebrate our horsey past, artist Annie Kennedy devised an art installation called The Stables. Locals were encouraged to massage their free lumps of clay into something that resembles a horse, and the results will be exhibited from October 11 to October 26.

Here's my horse, Erko, who's a little bit wonky, bumpy and out of proportion, but can actually stand on her own four feet. Neigh!

Finally, A New Post

I've just returned from a long holiday overseas and my brain is beginning to warm up...

Back in July, I flew over to gorgeous San Francisco (picking up four lovely and talented NZ writers Sara Hantz, Amanda Ashby, Ellie Huse and Shelley Munro in Auckland on the way) for Romance Writers of America's annual conference. Shelley's husband had organised for us to travel from SFO to the Marriott in style--with a stretch limo. (A sharp contrast to the shuttle bus I was herded into after the conf.)

In the following five days raged a battle between me and an invisible foe called Jet Lag. However, I still managed to have a terrific time at my first American conference. Most of the workshops I attended were run by YA writers, including the gracious and talented Trish Milburn, who'd recently critiqued my work.

Screenwriters from All My Children and Guiding Light provided memorable insights into writing soaps that translate well into other genres:

* Give your characters a secret--it doesn't have to be revealed to the audience, but it affects the way they see the world and interact with others.
* Make characters dark and find a way to redeem them.
* When you're developing a scene, think of the best and worst things that could happen to the character.
* On soaps, head writers devise plots for a three- to six-month time frame, then breakdown scriptwriters write the episodes. (And sometimes breakdown scriptwriters verge on breakdowns themselves when they have to reincarnate characters who have died in previous seasons.)
* Soap operas were devised by Procter and Gamble to promote their products.

In another workshop, I learned the fundamental differences between a suspense, a thriller and a mystery:
* Suspense novels are all about the anticipation of danger
* Thrillers are about the future
* Mysteries are about the past.

I can't remember who said this, but there's a gap in the YA market for mysteries, thrillers, and books for boys. I also believe Jennifer Klonsky from Simon Pulse is on the lookout for superhero, paranormal, commercial, and fun novels.

Cindi Myers, who's always so generous in passing on market information to fellow writers, had this to say about amping up productivity:
* Don't know where all your time goes? Chart your time on a calendar or planner and ID blocks of time that could be better used for writing.
* Use a ritual to trigger writing time. (For instance, you could play a certain song that inspires you; eat a set number of chocolate bars; whatever works for you.)

Of course, it wasn't all work and no play. The Australian/New Zealand contingent numbered around 30, which I think is a record. One of the biggest highlights was the exclusive Harlequin cocktail party. I scored an invite from Laura, Nora Roberts' publicist, after we volunteered at the registration desk together. And I got to meet la Nora herself! (It was a brief meeting, but a meeting nonetheless!) Harlequin Spice author Cathleen Ross forced me to dance to Bon Jovi and ABBA songs after our indulgent visit to the chocolate fountain.

The conference culminated in the RITA Awards, which really is the equivalent of the Oscars. Sparkly gowns galore. My treasured friend Anna Campbell was up for two awards for Best Historical, and NZ author Emily Gee was also nominated for two awards.

Thank you to:
* Sara, Amanda and Ellie for inviting me to dinners and brekkies, and being wonderful travel companions.
* Marley Gibson for telling me about her ghost-hunting trips. Spooooooky!
* Trish Milburn, Christine Wells, Anna Campbell and all the Banditas for inviting me to their party.
* RWA for a fabulous conference. Great workshops and great people.
* The housekeepers at the Marriott on Fourth Street.
* San Francisco, where I left a piece of my heart and almost lost my wallet.

What I wish I'd done:
* Arrived a few days earlier to get over the jet lag. The last day of the conf was the first time I felt even slightly human.
* Worked up the courage to introduce myself to more authors, especially those I'm in awe of. There's one author I really should've said hi to, but I felt like such a dork.
* This list could get long and boring, so I'll hold it there. Have a look at some pics instead.

The delightful Christine Wells,
whose new release, The Dangerous Duke, is out now.

Sara Hantz and Wendy Toliver.

Paula Roe, Harlequin author, my website designer,
and all-round fabulous person.

Two Aussie icons: Denise Rossetti and a Tim Tam
(that chocolatey thing on the champers bottle).

(L-R) Shelley Munro, Ellie Huse, Sara Hantz in the limo.

Amanda Ashby, with whom I have so much in common it's scary! 

(But nice!)

The streets of San Francisco.

Me and Anna Campbell.

We're the A Team--crit partners. (L-R) Anna Campbell, 

Cathleen Ross, brand-new Berkley author Kandy Shepherd,
and me wearing an accessory that is more tragic than tres chic.

Drumroll, please!

Your questions and comments were all terrific, which meant picking a winner for our IWBYJR competition was difficult. So Stephanie turned to her trusty random number generator for help. The winner of our IWBYJR comp is...



...softindierocker, aka Lucy D!

Congrats! You've won a prize pack which includes a copy of I WANNA BE YOUR JOEY RAMONE by Stephanie Kuehnert and chocolates from Australia (which have absolutely nothing to do with the book, but are delicious nonetheless).

Softindierocker, please email your details to me at ness @ vanessa barneveld . com (close the spaces) and we'll send you the bounty asap.

Thanks to all who dropped by to talk to Stephanie, and an extra special thanks to the girl herself!

Stephanie Kuehnert is in the Building

I'm so happy to host one of the smartest debut authors around--Stephanie Kuehnert. Her MTV Books release, I WANNA BE YOUR JOEY RAMONE, is finally out and I couldn't be more excited. It's a vivid, compelling story centered around punk goddess Emily. She's tough as a pair of old Doc Martens on the outside, but there's vulnerability just below the surface that even she doesn't want to admit to.

As part of her week-long blog tour, Stephanie takes the mic and shares her thoughts about the writing process. She'll also be on hand to answer your questions and pick a winner for our book giveaway (details below).

Describe IWBYJR in a classic, three-sentence elevator pitch.
Ahh, I suck at this! I always use the back cover copy because they are so much better at this than I am! Okay, deep breaths….

Music is in Emily Black’s blood. According to her father, her mother Louisa abandoned them when Emily was an infant in order to follow the punk rock scene. As a teenager, Emily finds solace in making music herself and forms the band She Laughs. In a way, she is using her music to search for Louisa because if Louisa is really following the music, shouldn’t she follow it back to Emily?

Okay, I think I cribbed some stuff from their summary, but really, they do a better job than me!

Emily Black's first love--the Fender Mustang.

Hey, you don't suck at all! The depth of Emily's raw and realistic emotions is one of many reasons why I couldn't put your book down. I really felt every high and low. When you sat down to write each day, what helped you get into Emily's head space?
I don’t listen to music when I write, but I listen before I write. I also tend to read over what I’d just written a bit if I am not ready to dive into the character’s head space. And I allow myself to suck at first. I look at the first fifteen or thirty minutes of writing time as warm-up. If it comes out good, it stays, but if not, I trust that I will write myself into the place I need to be.

If IWBYJR were being cast for a movie, who would you choose to portray Emily and Louisa, or any other characters?
Hmm, I have a hard time picking an actress for Emily. My agent once said she thought of Zooey Deschanel, but I think she might be too old. I’d actually love to hear what other people think because I’m not as familiar with teen actresses. One I did think of was the girl who plays the daughter in Sweeney Todd, Jayne Wisener, because she can really sing and she’d look cool with black hair.

As for Louisa, I know a lot of people have had mixed feelings about her as an actress and a person in general, but Courtney Love. She was so amazing in People Vs. Larry Flynt and if she brought that power and emotion to the role, wow! Plus she’s got Louisa’s bleached blonde look and she’s a rock star so she’d get the whole rock thing. Um, and I just love her.

Oh, and Johnny Depp play Michael, please????? The wavy brown hair, the soft-spoken thing, it’s perfect.

Zooey and Courtney as Emily and Louisa?

When did the writing bug first hook its fangs into you?
Soon after I learned to read. I started keeping a journal and writing short stories at eight. I even went to Young Author conferences! But I didn’t consider myself a serious writer until high school when I wrote a lot of bad poetry and some good feminist zines.

What's your writing routine like? Do you need total silence or could you write in the middle of a grand parade?
I mostly need silence. Sometimes the occasion calls for music, which I usually listen to on headphones. My biggest distraction is my cats who seem to love to climb everywhere in my office. Eventually I get frustrated and banish them. For some reason I seem to do first draft stuff in my office and revisions at my dining room table. This may be because it allows me more space to spread out paper, but more likely just a weird quirk.

We all love to hear stories about The Call, when an agent or publisher rings to say they want to represent you/publish your book. Tell us about your Call story.
Mine was an email actually. My agent forwarded me the offer and said, “Call me as soon as you can and let’s talk.” I was at work, hence the email, but I immediately dropped everything and went to use an empty office to call her. We’d had an offer almost a few weeks ago, so I thought this was what they would like to offer me if everything was approved by higher-ups or something. But no, my agent told me, I could accept or deny this, it was in my hands now. Of course I accepted. Then she told me, “Call your mom, you’re a published author!” LOL!

Steph, you’re one of my amazing CPs. And that not only stands for "critique partner" but also for "cat person." Here’s a vid of Stephanie and her cat signing the publishing contract:



Are there any publishing myths you've busted or confirmed since selling your first book?
Well, I’m not up on all the publishing myths, so I’m not entirely sure, but when I was in school for writing, one of the myths discussed was that editors nowadays don’t really work with writers the way they used to. They don’t put their heart or much thought into guiding the author. It’s all about mass production now. This is so not true, at least not with my editor, Jen Heddle. Jen is insanely busy and has a ton of various projects, yes, but her revisions letter to me was as thoughtful as the revisions I would get from my thesis advisor in grad school, a man I admired very much. So I was thrilled to work with Jen. She posed great questions about the story, allowed me to bounce ideas off of her. A good editor is still a writer’s best friend and they still exist… At least at MTV Books!

Music is at the heart of IWBYJR, so I have to ask--who is your rock'n'roll hero/ine and did you ever want to be a rock goddess yourself?
I have lots of heroes and heroines. My top two heroes are Kurt Cobain and Mike Ness. My heroines are Courtney Love, Mia Zapata, and Brody Dalle. And I totally wanted to be a rock goddess, but I wasn’t instantly good at it and was too undisciplined to practice. The only thing I’ve ever been disciplined with is writing.


Congratulations, Stephanie! IWBYJR is really gonna strike a chord (geddit?). Thanks so much for being here.

Now, for your chance to win your very own copy of I WANNA BE YOUR JOEY RAMONE, all you have to do is post a comment. Tell us who your rock'n'roll hero is, ask Stephanie a question, or maybe suggest actors who could do the character of Emily Black justice. And being the hostess, I'll throw in some iconic Australian chocolates as a rider. We'll announce the winner on July 8.




Sleater-Kinney play I Wanna Be Your Joey Ramone, the song that inspired the title of Steph's novel.